When we allow ourselves to carry baggage from past relationships, we are simply giving life to old emotions. It doesn’t make logical sense to assign the misconduct of one person to a completely different person, but we do it, because the human psyche is set up for protection. Pain isn’t a welcome emotion, it can sting for a long time, and we’ll do almost anything to avoid it, sometimes going to irrational lengths to do so.
Have you had a passionate relationship end horribly, so you decide to base your next relationship on practicality instead of passion and heat? Or, maybe things were the other way around. Your prior relationship was full of passion, and that person shattered your heart, so the next time, you decided to choose someone for safety’s sake, even if they were mind-numbingly boring. When entering relationships, it’s important to explore all your motives behind doing so. What responsibilities and expectations are you assigning to your partner, and are they capable of holding up to those things? Is it fair to expect them to?
This relationship baggage that we carry around is filled with our hopes, dreams, disappointments, fears, hurts and feelings of rejection. The hope of something fresh that can wipe away the hurts of the past is a tall order for anyone. It’s not up to anyone else to heal you; that is your responsibility, and yours alone. The people closest to you can only walk with you on the journey towards healing and letting go.
What we manifest outwardly is simply a reflection of what’s going on within. Every day, people create false realities about real experiences, projecting their hurt onto their relationships and making their inner experience a self-fulfilling outward prophecy. We may try to keep those actions separate, but they are one in the same. Our thoughts become our words, which become our actions, which become our character. It is our responsibility to approach new relationships as wholly as possibly, and not to punish others because of our unhealed wounds. Some people might stick around for this drama, but others, especially those who are whole and awakened, will leave you to deal with yourself without sacrificing their own peace and joy, and you wouldn’t be able to justifiably blame them for doing so.
Something to think about
What past experiences are you still caring around and unloading in your current relationships?
What would it take for you to release your baggage?