• Oh, the fresh car smell of falling in love!

    Carfax is one of the greatest things that ever could have happened to used car lots. Prior to this service, used car salesmen had one of the worst reputations of all professionals, because they could talk a customer into buying damaged goods, and the customer wouldn’t know it until after they’d driven off the lot. By the time they found out they had a lemon, it was too late to do much about it, without a tremendous amount of hassle and extra money. Unscrupulous salesmen could shine up the paint of the car nicely, vacuum the inside, give it the new car smell air freshener, and pour some soda on…

  • The Math of Comparison Never Works

    Another pitfall I commonly see people fall into is the need to compare the outside world of others to their own reality.  The whole “keeping up with the Joneses,” or the belief I am only as good or as worthy of good things as people are willing to give me, is a dangerous mind game to play. Finding your worth based on outside perceptions is not a stable platform for healthy and happy relationships, because it is a very conditional way to live. You can never be sure when the other shoe will drop. This lack of security can prevent you from feeling “all in” within a relationship, and it…

  • Here, Now, Today is All We Have

    Many people are afraid to face their fears and past hurts, because “it just hurts too much.” If you feel this way, I want you to imagine yourself carrying a 50 lb. bag around with you every day.  Think how that could impact your internal thoughts as well as how you deal with other people.  Wouldn’t you start to feel exhausted, beat down and depressed?  What if I told you, facing your hurts and past pain would help you reduce or at least minimize the “extra weight” that has had a negative impact on your daily life.  You have every right to feel what you feel and never let anyone…

  • Baggage Claim

    When we allow ourselves to carry baggage from past relationships, we are simply giving life to old emotions. It doesn’t make logical sense to assign the misconduct of one person to a completely different person, but we do it, because the human psyche is set up for protection. Pain isn’t a welcome emotion, it can sting for a long time, and we’ll do almost anything to avoid it, sometimes going to irrational lengths to do so. Have you had a passionate relationship end horribly, so you decide to base your next relationship on practicality instead of passion and heat? Or, maybe things were the other way around. Your prior relationship…