Sadly, family is where we also learn about control and manipulation. When we are children, we want and need the approval of our parents and close relatives, for survival. If we worked really hard and finally received praise and approval from our parents, we were likely to associate hard work with gaining praise and approval. This can put us on a lifetime cycle of thinking we are only worthy of love, praise and approval if we become workaholics. Now, I am not saying not to do your best or not to have a passion in life, I am only saying that a healthy balanced life doesn’t equate your worthiness of love and attention, because of what you do or position you hold. Instead, when it comes to relationships it’s important to be authentic and honest about what motivates you and knowing what you really want out of life. In the end, you have nothing to prove to anyone. Your life is your own. Eventually, you will come to see, that life will force you to decide what you want and who you decide to become.
Some people will dislike your choices, and that’s okay. You however, will have a relationship with yourself for the rest of your days. So, the sooner you become honest and clear about what you value and what you want out of life, the sooner you can become a beacon to others to live out their authentic truth’s as well. As a result, people will become less judgmental and critical because they have embraced their own freedom and their honest desire to become who they are destined to be.
The good news is, people can change. If you need to change something in your life to help your relationships become more satisfying and unconditionally loving, then it is important to identify the problem, research alternative ways to change bad habits, and experiment with different options to find the best one that is the most realistic and suitable for a given situation.
Remember you can’t give what you don’t have. You have to be willing to become the kind of person you would like to be with, and that means acknowledging the good things that you bring to a relationship. This confidence will help you develop better habits and the honest internal dialogue, will enable you to express the positive you see in others.